Q&A With Wicked!
by claramadesouffles
Summary: "Stay with us, everyone! We'll be right back as soon as they STOP MURDERING EACH OTHER!"  And THAT what happens when Elphie, Glinda, Fiyero, Morrible, the Wizard, Boq, Nessa, and Dorothy answer questions supplied by YOU.  This will be fun...
1. Prolouge

**DISCLAIMER**

**Me: *mumbles incoherently***

**Elphaba: We agreed that you'd speak clearly.**

**Me: Fine. Idontownwicked.**

**Elphaba: Come on. Clearly****.**

**Me: I. Don't. Own. Wicked. There. Are you happy now?**

**Elphaba: I'm thrilled.**

**Me: Thanks for crushing my dreams.**

"Hey, this isn't the Animal Rights convention!"

"Where are the pink dresses?"

"What the - apparently the balloon's GPS system was off."

"At least this is better than that horrendible prison."

And that's how it all started.

A large group of complaining people was gathered in a small white room. The group of people

"Calm down, people! Gosh, it's not like you were just kidnapped or something," a voice said, entering the plain, white room.

A tragically beautiful girl, the one in the chair, glared at her. "Yes, we kind of were, whoever you are. Apparently -"

"I'm Jen," the authoress said, waving.

Nessa sighed. "_Jen_, then. Apparently you all _tricked_ us into coming here. And for what, exactly?"

Rolling her eyes, and ignoring the second question, the authoress waved a hand. "I didn't trick you; I just told you that you were going somewhere that wasn't actually where you were going."

"What?" Fiyero asked, confused.

"Never mind that," the authoress said. "The fact is, you're here." Flipping a switch on a hand-held remote, she smiled. "And so are they."

The walls of the room came down, revealing that they were on a stage. A medium sized audience appeared, staring in awe at the people in front of them.

Glinda stared blankly at the audience. "What the…" she turned to the authoress. Glinda gave Jen an odd look. "I thought you said this was a clothing store."

Elphaba gave Glinda an odd look. "You really need more clothes, Glinda?"

She shrugged. "It doesn't hurt."

Fiyero looked at his arm. "Why am I not made of straw?" he asked, poking his very flesh-like skin.

"And why am I not made of tin?" Boq asked, looking at his non-metallic hand.

"I'm the authoress," Jen smiled. "I can do whatever I want."

Nessa looked up at Jen. "Then can you give me the ability to walk?" she asked eagerly.

Jen smiled and nodded, and Nessa squealed excitedly.

"But I won't," Jen shrugged.

"Why not?" Nessa gasped, looking rather annoyed.

"Because you already could, and then you lost your shoes. It was very irresponsible of you, Nessa," Jen looked at her, disapprovingly.

Astounded, Nessa replied, "B-but a _house_ fell on me! I didn't _lose _them!"

Jen sighed. "Your shoes, your responsibility."

"B-b-but…"

"Who in Oz _are _you, anyway?" A certain Wizard asked, giving Jen an odd look.

The authoress smiled. "I'm Jen, the authoress. Duh. I thought we went over this already."

"We knew _that_," Madame Morrible sighed. "But who _are_ you?"

Jen smiled. "The Wicked Witch of Pennsylvania."

"What's a Pencil Vain and Ya?" Glinda asked, confusifyed.

"It's a state," a twelve-year-old girl asked, skipping through the door with her dog. "Sorry I'm late, I -" Dorothy gasped, catching sight of the green girl. "Oh, Toto!" she cried. "It's - it's _her_! The witch! I thought she was dead!"

"Oh, shut it," Elphaba muttered, glaring.

"Quick, someone," Fiyero said sarcastically, "go fetch a bucket of water."

"Hey, I already killed my daughter once," the Wizard said, sighing. "Let's not do it again."

"My shoes!" Nessa shouted, finally looking over at Dorothy. She quickly wheeled her chair over to the little brat in a blue and white checkered dress. "Hand them over!" Dorothy frowned. "I can't! They're stuck! They've been stuck on for weeks! Do you know how uncomfortable it is sleeping with shoes on?"

Nessa frowned, but didn't reply.

"I wish I could get them off, but I can't. So deal with it."

Nessa glared at Dorothy, and then looked pleadingly at the authoress.

"It's true," Jen said with a sigh, "they won't come off unless she's dead. Trust me, I've tried. Those are _really _pretty shoes," she said longingly, staring at the red heels on Dorothy's feet.

Nessa frowned. "Then we'll just have to kill her, I guess."

"Sounds good to me," Elphaba mumbled.

"Anyone who attempts to murder Fabala will feel my wrath," Fiyero said, glaring at the farm girl.

"Hey, calm down everyone! No murder, there are _witnesses _in the crowd!" Jen exclaimed, frowning.

No one paid attention to the authoress. "Boq, do you still have that ax?" Elphaba asked, slowly approaching a trembling Dorothy.

"Nope," Boq sighed, glaring at Jen. "It was confiscated. Apparently no weapons are allowed inside of this room."

Everyone turned to glare at the authoress, who simply shrugged. "I don't want anyone being murdered. I figured something like this would happen when I put Dorothy in the same room as you people. Murderous freaks…"

An aura of disappointment coated the room, as Dorothy breathed a sigh of relief. Madame Morrible approached the authoress with a frown. "Why are we here, anyway?" she asked impatiently.

Jen frowned. "I was getting to that."

"Get there faster. I'm bored," Glinda complained.

"Fine," Jen muttered. "Okay, so a lot of other people have done these fics where reviewers send in questions, and then the characters answer them, right? Therefore, being the unoriginal person I am, I decided to try one! Yay!"

"As long as there's no Gelphie involved," Glinda sighed.

"I'd say 'okay', because I agree completely, but -"

"There's always a 'but'," Elphaba sighed, leaning against Fiyero.

"But it's whatever the reviewers want," Jen said reluctantly.

"Wait," Fiyero said, looking up at her, "there might be…" he walked up to her and whispered in her ear, "Foq?"

Jen shrugged. "Well, if that's what they want."

Fiyero's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

Boq's eyes widened too. "You're _kidding_."

With a sigh, Jen shook her head. "Whatever they want."

Fiyero and Boq shared a glance, and then said in unison, "We're done for."

Jen turned towards the audience. "That's right," she smiled, "it's up to you. So send in your questions, dares, whatever!" Jen waved. "We'll be right here, waiting, all day! So ask what you need to ask - there's Elphie, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa, Morrible, Dorothy, and the Wizard! Ask away, my dear audience members! Ask away!"

"What have we gotten ourselves into?"

**I've got some ideas for future chappies! All you guys have to do is review with your questions, and then these beautiful people will answer them. Dares, questions, anything! :D I need a minimum of three questions per chapter, so…yeah. :D I'm excited about this!**


	2. Horrors, Lambert, & Popular Pink Dresses

**Helloooooooo, everyone! :-) How are you? I'm good, thanks for asking.**

**Thanks for all the reviews last chapter. I was afraid I wouldn't meet my three-question goal, but apparently there was nothing to be afraid of!**

**This chapter was a lot of fun to write. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**And if anyone cares, my Dell Inspiron Mini is acting up. I just realized that about half the time I try to start my webcam, I get the blue screen of death and I have to turn off the computer and turn it back on. It's starting to annoy me, and I'm pretty sure the warranty's up, and it's been doing this since Christmas. *sigh* Well, it's not like the tiny computing power even can withstand it, once I do get it to work. *sighs again* Well, in a little less than one and a half years, I can get a new MacBook Pro, I hope. I saw my friend's and I love it. The webcam isn't a piece of crap! :D Hey, if any of you guys actually read this a/n, put the word 'webcam' at the end of your review. I want to know if anyone besides me actually reads these, haha. I'll remind you in the bottom a/n, in case you forget. I always forget. :) There's always something I want to say at the beginning that I forget at the end…sorry, shutting up. This thing is getting kind of long and ramble-y. Oops.**

**Well, enjoy the chappie! :D**

"Okay, everyone," our (wonderful) authoress said, clapping her hands in delight. "We're starting! Please take your seats."

"Where, exactly?" Boq asked, looking around the empty stage. "I see no chairs."

Frowning, Jen looked around, also. "I swore I wrote them into here… well, whatever." She snapped her fingers, and six chairs appeared. Nessa wheeled her chair to the left side of the row of chairs, and Fiyero sat down in the chair furthest to the left, then next to him, Elphaba, and then Glinda, Boq, Dorothy, and the Wizard. Madame Morrible walked over to the empty space next to the Wizard's chair, and frowned. "Where's my chair?" she asked, annoyed.

"You don't get one," Jen answered, snapping her fingers. A director's chair appeared, and she sat down in it, leaving Morrible as the last one standing on the stage.

"Why not?" Madame Morrible asked, even more annoyed than before.

Jen shrugged. "I don't like you, that's why."

Madame Morrible looked offended. "Why?"

Rolling her eyes, Jen began to recite a list. "You killed Nessa, you plotted to kill Elphie, you lied to all of Oz saying that -"

"Fine, fine. But you like me even less than _Dorothy_?" Madame Morrible asked, very offended.

Jen nodded, crossing her legs in the director's chair. "Kneel if you have to. Sit on the floor. I don't care, but you don't get a chair." She giggled. "Hey, that last sentence rhymed!"

Morrible sighed, kneeling down on the floor. "I'm too old for this," she whined.

"Exactly how old _are_ you, Madame Morrible?" the Wizard asked, giving her a curious look.

"No one needs to know that," she snapped in reply.

Jen rolled her eyes again. "Quiet down, everyone, and stop bickering. We have to get this show on the road." she pulled a small green and black box out from under her chair. It had a small opening at the top, just large enough for a hand to fit through. "Inside of this box," she explained, "are the names of every audience member here. I'll pull a name out, and they'll get to ask their question or whatever they were planning to say. Understood?" the cast and audience nodded. "Alright-y then. And the first asker is…" Jen reached her hand in and pulled out a name. "LittleGreenGirlxx! Congratulations!" the question-er stood up, and the authoress greeted, "Hi!" She waved to the lucky audience member.

LittleGreenGirlxx waved in return, and said, "I love these things, to be honest!"

"Me too," Jen smiled. "So, what's your question?"

The audience member nodded. "Alright, hmmm. Question…" she turned to the three chairs furthest to the left. "To Elphie, Fiyero and Galinda: Which actors/actresses do you think portrayed your characters best on Broadway/in the West End? My personal favourites are Kerry Ellis, Oliver Tompsett and Dianne Pilkington...But what about you?"

"It's _Glinda_," Glinda complained. "The _Ga_ is silent."

"Get over yourself," Madame Morrible whined with a sigh.

Ignoring Morrible and Glinda's sarcastic, annoying chit-chat, Elphaba tapped her chin as she considered her answer. "On Broadway, I think Eden Espinosa did a great job. But in the West End, I agree with you. I think Kerry Ellis was awesome. Actually, she might be my overall favorite, although I really like Rachel Tucker. And of course, Idina Menzel. She originated the role, after all."

Glinda smiled. "Megan Hilty was ah-maaaay-zing on Broadway, but in the West End I'd have to say Dianne Pilkington and agree with you. And Cheno was amazing, of course! As Elphie put it, she originated the role, after all."

Fiyero sighed. "Possibly Andy Karl on Broadway, and Oliver Tompsett in the West End. Although I think I would do a much better job then all of those people."

Jen gave him an odd look. "Fiyero, can you even sing?" "No," Elphaba said jokingly, giving him a playful nudge.

"Yes I can," Fiyero replied, glaring at her.

"No, you can't," Glinda sighed, very serious. "You just _can_'_t_, Fiyero."

Jen sighed. "Enough chit-chat. Okay, who's next? The magical box shall tell us. Ooooooh!" Jen picked up the 'magical box' and pulled out another name. "MissTomorrow!" Jen smiled at the girl as she stood up. With a flash of realization, Jen's eyes lit up. "Hey, it's my online Twin!" Jen exclaimed. She pointed to her MissTomorrow.

Her "twin" waved, and said, "Twinnie! I loves you!"

"I loves you too!" Jen said with a wave. Madame Morrible impatiently sighed, and Jen gave her a glare. "Hey, it's a reunion!" She turned back to her "twin", and motioned for her to continue.

"Anyway…" she turned to Fiyero. "Fiyero - First, I love you. You're great."

"No you don't," Elphaba said, wrapping an arm around her lover. "He's mine. Deal with it."

MissTomorrow rolled her eyes, but continued. "Second, my favorite actor who played you was Adam Lambert , even though he was an understudy."

"Ooooh! He's hot!" Glinda enthused, jumping up from her seat and hopping up and down excitedly. That generated some odd glares from Dorothy, the Wizard, and Horrible Morrible. Glinda shrugged. "What? He is!" When no one responded and they just continued to look at her oddly, Glinda slowly sat back down in her chair.

"Shut up, Glinda," Nessa said. "Let the girl finish her question."

MissTomorrow smiled at Glinda's awkwardness, then continued, "So, I dare you to sing a little clippet from one of his songs. A tribute, you know?" Elphaba and Glinda gave her an odd look. "No," they said in unison, looking at her with looks of horror in their eyes.

"We already went over this. Fiyero _cannot _sing," Elphaba reminded her.

Dorothy shrugged. "How bad can it be?"

"Shut up, brat," Elphaba muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" Dorothy asked, innocently.

"Nothing," Elphaba smiled sweetly.

Embarrassed, Fiyero cleared his throat as he stood up slowly. "Um… okay. What song? 'Cause it's not like I listen to him or anything. Of course not. So, since I don't listen to him, how would I know any of his songs? Because I don't listen to him. Why in Oz would -"

"You're rambling," Jen said, smiling knowingly.

"Am not."

"You are," Nessa smirked.

"Am _not_."

"Are too," Glinda said, poking him in the side.

"Am -"

"Can we _please_ just get on with it?" Dorothy complained, acting very diva-ish.

Fiyero sighed. "Fine. So what -"

"Sure Fire Winners," MissTomorrow suggested before he even finished his question.

Shifting his weight uncomfortably. "Okay then…" Fiyero said. Music randomly begun playing in the background, and a single spotlight singled out Fiyero. Jen handed him a microphone, and he started to sing, completely tone-deaf and off pitch:"We're coming up like killin' machinesOur big gun's gonna shatter the scene.

It's pandemonium on the -"

"And we're done!" Elphaba said, running to the front of the stage and grabbing the microphone from his hands. "Thanks for listening everyone!"

"Hey, I wasn't done!" Fiyero said, apparently oblivious to the audience's disapproval of his "talent". He grabbed the microphone back and continued to sing:

"Cause everyone wants a little moreThey wanna ride on our rocket ship-"

"Please _shut up_, you brainless idiot!" Madame Morrible cried from behind, but Fiyero continued on, now doing a little dance that made him look like even _more_ of a brainless idiot. Elphaba slowly backed away and sat down in her chair, covering her ears.

"Right 'round the moon for a velvet kiss'Cause all the girls and the boys wanna knowHow far this bad wild child's gonna go!"

Fiyero started dancing around the stage idiotically - even more so than before, although no one had thought it possible.

"We are the sure fire winnersUh oh, yeah, big time hittersWe are the -"

"Alright, enough!" Jen cried out. She grabbed the microphone from Fiyero and smiled innocently at the crowd. "Thanks MissTomorrow for absolutely -"

"…allowing the brainless ex-Captain of the Guard to murder our eardrums." Madame Morrible finished for Jen. Looking back at Madame Morrible, Jen sighed and shrugged.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," she said. "Onto the next question." Jen took out the little box, and grabbed another card. "Hm. That's odd."

"What?" Glinda asked.

"I got LittleGreenGirlxx again." Jen shrugged. "Well, the magical box says it's so, so it must be!"

"You really worship that thing, don't you?" Dorothy asked, petting her dog.

Jen nodded as LittleGreenGirlxx stood up again. Already having though of another question, she asked, "To all: what is the craziest thing you have ever done when you've been drunk?"

"I've never been drunk," Elphaba said. "Therefore, I cannot answer the question."

Fiyero looked at her questioningly. "But what about the time you -"

"Shut _up_," Elphaba said quickly, placing a hand over his mouth. "Glinda, your turn."

Glinda blushed. "Well…" she covered her face with her hand.

"It can't be _that_ bad," Boq comforted her.

The good witch looked up at him, still blushing a bright red. "But it _is_. I confessed my undying love for…for…"

"For _what_?" Nessa asked, extremely curious.

"A milk flower plant," Glinda whispered.

The audience members and the people on the stage gave her an odd look.

"I thought it was this really hot boy from my school, okay?" Glinda said, attempting futilely to defend her craziness.

"Exactly how much did you have to drink that night, Glinda?" Jen asked, afraid of the answer. Glinda blushed again, and didn't reply. "Your turn, Boq," she mumbled, trying to draw attention away from herself.

Boq looked away. He stared at the glowing exit sign that hung bravely and proudly above the door as he quickly said his answer, avoiding the gazes of the audience. "Well, there _was_ this one time, back at Shiz. There was another party-thing, and Fiyero was there - of course, right? This is _Fiyero_ we're talking about. Well, anyway, someone put something in my punch, and I might've been a little bit drunk, and…well…I kind of told Fiyero that I was in love with him.

"_What in Oz's name_…?" Fiyero asked, dumbfounded. "I have _no _recollection of this, Boq."

Glinda giggled, glad that the attention had been shifted from her odd story. "That's because you were loony, too, Fifi. I was there - I remember. You said you felt the same way." Glinda giggled again, along with the rest of the audience.

"This is getting _good_," the authoress said, suddenly eating popcorn that magically appeared in her hands. "Nessa's turn," she said, looking over at the girl.

Nessa looked amused. "I'm not saying anything."

"Yes, you will," Jen said, "or you'll be forced to watch Glinda and Boq make out."

Nessa glared. "You wouldn't."

"Ew! No!" Glinda exclaimed, moving her chair away from Boq's. "You can't make me!"

"I'm the authoress, Glinda. I can do whatever I want!" Jen let out an Elphaba Cackle ã, which she was legally allowed to use. She had the papers signed and everything. She _was_ the authoress, after all.

"Nessa, say it. Now. Or else another house will fall on top of you," Glinda threatened.

Nessa blushed, then looked down at her hands, which she folded neatly in her lap. "Alright, then," she sighed, still staring at her hands. "Okay…well…"

"Just say it," Madame Morrible groaned, putting her head in her hands.

Nessa took a deep breath again, then continued. "Well, at the same party that Boq and Fiyero fell in love" - Fiyero and Boq glared at her as she continued - "I must've had a sip of Boq's punch, because I suddenly felt pretty…well, you know. And then I blinked and thought I went blind. I basically wheeled my chair around aimlessly, thinking I couldn't see and screaming about it, which was the embarrassing part. Glinda had to pry my eyes open." Nessa looked over at the Wizard, signaling for him to continue.

"I bet a friend that I could navigate my balloon through a thunderstorm," the Wizard sighed. "And look where _that_ got me."

"Dorothy?" Jen asked, looking at the girl.

"I'm twelve!" Dorothy exclaimed, offended.

Realization crossed Jen's eyes. "Oh, yeah," she said. She looked over at Morrible. "Now you have to take your turn."

"No, I do not have to, or you will face the wrath of my weather-ness!"

"I'm sorry, Morrible," Jen apologized, holding a hand to her heart, "but this building is storm proof."

"That's impossible," Madame Morrible said, glaring.

Shrugging, Jen continued. "I'm the authoress."

Dorothy frowned. "That excuse is getting annoying. Do you have any originality in you at all?" she questioned.

Jen shook her head sadly. "Nope, not today. Now, Morrible, tell us the story."

Madame Morrible sighed. "Fine, then. It wasn't something I _said_, but something I did. One time I went skinny-dipping up at Lake Chorge with a few of my girl friends."

Everyone looked astounded. "You actually had _friends_ when you were young?" the Wizard blurted out, dumbly. Morrible glared at him, and then at the rest of the people on stage.

"I was young. I wasn't always this 'ugly', as you all put it," Morrible said.

"I find that hard to believe," Fiyero mumbled, causing Nessa to giggle hysterically. Fiyero slowly inched away from her as Morrible continued to speak.

"The worst part is that it was still light out," Madame Morrible said. "It was not a smart idea. I have pictures in my wallet -"

"That's enough!" Jen yelled, picking up the green and black box. "We're moving on!" She reached her hand in, and pulled out another card, and read off the pen name. "Beautifully Tragic Girl!" Jen exclaimed, turning to the audience.

"Yay. Humor fic. Hola," Beautifully Tragic said, waving.

Glinda waved eagerly. "Hel-lo!"

The audience member turned to the green girl and her lover. "Fiyero and Elphaba: are you two together'" she asked.

Elphaba smiled, looked at Fiyero, then back at the reviewer, nodding. "And I'm thrilled."

The Fiyeraba members of the audience sighed happily as Beautifully Tragic Girl moved onto her next question. "Wizard: Your balloon has GPS? Cool!" "Yes," the Wizard said, nodding. "I just installed it - it would've been a lot nicer to have before I crashed here. I didn't want anything like that happening again."

The interviewer smiled, then turned to Madame Morrible and scowled. "Morrible: The door's over to the left. Leave and go back to prison."

"No," Morrible replied, offended. "I'm not going back in there."

"Not until the Q&A is over," Jen added.

"Not even then!" Morrible said, frowning. Sighing, Jen nodded. "We've already been over this. Yes, you _are_!" she turned back to Beautifully Tragic and smiled. "Continue."

With a nod, she turned to Glinda. "Glinda: Do you ever wear anything not sparkly?"

Glinda laughed hysterically. "Me? Not sparkly?" she continued to laugh, unable to speak for a moment. "I'm not Elphie!" Elphaba glared at her, frowning. Glinda quickly looked back at Beautifully Tragic and frowned, trying to correct her error. "I - I mean, I'm not…never-mind. In short, no, everything I own is sparkly."

The question-er nodded, and smiled evilly.

"These are dares, aren't they?" Elphaba groaned. "No, I'm not painting my nails or skin pink, and I refuse to dye my hair. Or cut it. Or make out with Glinda."

Beautifully Tragic continued to smile evilly, but nodded in agreement with Elphaba's terms. She smiled once again, then said, "Elphaba and Fiyero: Make out for one full minute without taking a breath." she let out an Elphaba Cackle ©, which, again, she was allowed to use because the authoress said so. "I can cackle so don't mess with me. And I'm Elphaba in our school's production of Wicked. So don't mess with me."

Blank stares were given to her by Elphaba and Fiyero, they then looked at each other and shrugged.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Fiyero asked.

"Besides suffocating and dying? Nothing." she smiled. "Anyways, does someone have a stopwatch?"

Jen snapped her fingers, and a stopwatch fell out of the sky and hit Dorothy on the head. "Ow!" she exclaimed, letting go of her dog. It rain aimlessly in circles around her feet, going around and around in circles.

Jen frowned. "That's odd," she said, picking up the dog. It struggled, trying to free itself from her grasp. "What, did you give it a 'be obsessed with Dorothy' potion so that it would follow you around and you wouldn't need a leash?"

"Give me the dog!" Dorothy said. "Here's your stupid stopwatch." Dorothy handed her the stopwatch, and Jen gave her the ugly dog.

"Are you two ready?" Jen asked Fiyero and Elphaba.

"I was born ready," Fiyero said, taking a deep breath at the same time as Elphie.

"Ready, and…GO!" Jen pressed the red button on top of the stopwatch, starting a countdown from 60 seconds. The people on stage turned their heads away, but most of the Fiyeraba fans, Jen included, stared, taking it hungrily in, just as they had during "As Long As You're Mine". About twenty-seven seconds through the make-out session, Nessa turned to Boq and sighed sadly. "Why can't we be like that, Boqqy?"

"Boqqy? Really, Nessa? Really?" Boq asked, giving her a very strange look.

Nessa looked down at the floor sadly. "Be glad you have a nickname, Boqqy. I don't…"

"Yes, you do, _Nessa_."

Nessa sighed. "But _everyone_ uses that. I'm the only one who's ever called you Boqqy."

Boq sighed.

After several more seconds of T-Rated making-out between everyone's favorite pair, the stopwatch in Jen's hand went off. Elphaba and Fiyero immediately pulled away from each other, gasping for air. Elphaba hunched over, gasping for air, just as Fiyero sat down in his chair, wrapping an arm around his chest.

"Can't…breathe…" Elphaba said, taking deep breaths as she put a hand to her throat.

"That was both… a terrible… yet very fun… moment," Fiyero said, gasping for air.

"How…was…it terrible…?" Elphaba asked, still trying to regain her breath. "I hope you're not…implying anything."

Fiyero cleared his throat. "The not having… enough air part. The…the rest of it was _very_ fun," Fiyero said suggestively.

"How about you two _get a room_?" Madame Morrible suggested rudely. "Let's move on, shall we?"

Jen sighed, still recovering from the Fiyeraba-ness of it all. "Sure…fine," she said, absently reaching a hand into the box. She pulled out a small card, and looked down the read the name. "Carastrophic Berry," she said, looking out at the audience.

The lucky member of the crowd stood up and waved. "Ah, wow, this is awesome!" she smiled. "Made my ni-" she looked down at her watch, then continued "-very early morning."

Jen smiled. "Why, thank you!"

"I'm pretty sure she wasn't complimenting you," Nessa said, correcting her. "We're doing most of the suffering and work. All you do is talk and put your hand in a box."

"I'm the authoress, though," Jen smirked at Nessa, then motioned for the audience member to continue.

"I love how in-character all this is!" Catastrophic Berry continued, then looked over at Dorothy. "Also that you included her, dunno why that makes me happy, but it does!" The farm girl stood up and curtseyed. "I know, I know. You love me, right? I mean, _no one _includes me! _Ever_! It's so annoying, but you learn to live with it, I guess."

The audience member looked back at Jen. "Anyways, my question and character randomness…" she ran up on the stage, and gave Boq a tackle-hug, much to the annoyance of Nessa. She then handed him a funnel hat and smiled. "Right, now that that's all sorted…" she quickly returned to her seat, and then turned to Fiyero to ask him her question. "Mr. Fiyero: whatever happened to Avaric? You know, the wheel barrow guy from your first scene? He was awesome!" she frowned. "Yes, that is a random question, but I'm generally curious! I love Avaric!"

Fiyero smiled, thinking back. "Ah, good times, good times…" "Not really," Elphaba said, thinking back upon the same memories. "You almost killed me with that thing."

Sighing, Fiyero gave her a comforting hug, making the Fiyeraba fans melt again. "I'm sorry, Fabala."

Elphaba smiled. "I forgive you."

Morrible groaned. "For Oz's sake, just _answer the question_!"

Her comment earned several 'boo!'s from Fiyeraba fans, but Fiyero finally turned back to Catastrophic Berry. "Avaric. Hm… what happened to him? I think he's working at a dress store somewhere up in the northern part of the Emerald City.'

"A dress store?" the Wizard asked. "Like, a woman's dress store?"

Fiyero nodded. "Don't ask me. I think it's the pretty girls. There are a lot of pretty girls up there…"

Elphaba coughed, hinting for him to shut up.

"Not that I care. I mean, I have you, Fabala." More sighs erupted from the Fiyerba fans, Jen included, once again.

"Anything else?" Glinda asked her. When she shook her head and sat back down. "One question for me? That's it so far? Life is unfair." she sighed, putting her head in her hands.

"And our next lucky audience member is… Belladonna!" Jen exclaimed, looking at out the crowd.

Belladonna stood up and smiled. "Hi, this is very enjoyable. My question is, does anybody know how Elphaba quenches her thirst - and for that matter cleans her teeth! - if water's dangerous to her? I'm thinking of writing my own fanfic and don't want to trip up over the little details."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Musical-verse, I'm not even allergic to water, so it's not a problem." she smiled.

Jen laughed. "But book-verse, she uses oil to keep herself clean, and I'd assume she just drinks juice or something to quench her thirst. I'm not positive, though. And as for cleaning her teeth -" Jen smiled, "maybe she doesn't use water, and just uses toothpaste."

"Thanks!" Belladonna said, sitting down.

"By the word of the box, the next person is…" Jen pulled out a card. "MG6673!"

The audience member stood up, smiled, waved, and looked over at Elphaba. "Elphie: I dare you to wear a pink dress for the rest of the Q & A."

"Horrors," Elphaba whispered.

"Wasn't that your first word?" Glinda asked, thinking back upon something Elphaba had told her once.

Elphaba glared at her, then turned back to MG6673. "No, I refuse."

Jen handed her a dress very similar to the one Glinda had worn when she was teaching Elphie to be popular. "You can't refuse a dare."

"I can do what ever I want," Elphaba insisted. "I'm the Wicked Witch of the West!"

Boq sighed. "Stop quoting the book and the musical and put on the dress."

Elphaba glared at him, and then reluctantly sighed. "I hate my life." Elphaba took the dress and left the stage, throwing some words back over her shoulder. "Be back in several minutes."

Glinda smiled. "Remember, Elphie, pink goes good with green!"

"Pink goes _well_ with green!" Elphaba called over her shoulder. "Grammar!"

"Whatever," Glinda muttered, sighing. "Do you have anymore questions?" she said, turning to the audience member.

MG6673 nodded. "Glinda: Are you and Elphie still friends?"

"Yep!" Glinda grinned. "And we will be, always, unless she finds out that I gave Jen the dress."

"You _what_?" Elphaba roared from her changing room, just off of the stage.

Now confused and a bit frightened, Glinda turned to Jen. "How did she hear me?" she whispered to the authoress.

"Your microphone's on," Jen mouthed, smiling.

*BEEEEP*, Glinda exclaimed.

"Glinda!" *BEEEEP* "is a bad word!" Jen said disapprovingly. "The fic's T-Rated, Jen!" Nessa said. "Come on, does it really have to be censored?"

Jen nodded.

"Why, exactly?" Nessa asked.

"I like the sound that the beep makes," Jen said dreamily.

Everyone looked at her oddly, but Jen ignored them. She turned back to the question-er, and asked, "Have any more inquiries?"

Nodding, MG6673 asked, "Fiyero: Do you have any fears?"

"None," Fiyero said bravely. "None at all. Unless guards are after Fae. Then I'm terrified.

"Awwwwwh!" the audience 'awwwwh-ed'.

"Me and Elphaba -"

"Awwwwwh!" the Fiyeraba fans cooed dreamily.

Fiyero looked at them oddly. "Elphaba and I -"

"Awwwwwh!" the Fiyeraba fans repeated, a dreamy look in their eyes.

"Me and another person who will not be named so I can finish a sentence without being interrupted…um…now I forget what I was going to say. Never mind."

Jen turned back to the audience member, rolling her eyes. She motioned for the inquirer to ask their next question.

"Boq: I dare you to kiss Nessa," MG6733 said, smirking.

"What?" Boq asked, frowning.

The Wizard shrugged. "Think of it this way: It's better than Foq."

Nessarose frowned, glaring at him. "Is it really _that_ bad, Boq?"

Boq looked over at his ex-governor fearfully. "Um…no…Nessarose…"

A tear rolled down Nessa's cheek. "That's not my nickname, Boqqy!"

Just as Boq was about to retaliate, a furious voice came from offstage.

"G_a_linda Upland, I hate you more than you will ever know right now," Elphaba said through her teeth as she walked onstage, wearing that pink fluffy gown. She didn't look half bad in most people's minds, but the expression of fury on Elphaba's face was plain and simple and really ruined the look.

"You forgot the flower," Fiyero laughed quietly, nudging Elphaba in the side as she approached him. She turned to him, giving him a death glare, and he quickly turned away. She sat down, crossing her forest-of-cactuses-green legs **{A/N: A reference to my one-shot, "If Life Was A Musical. :)]**, and glaring at Glinda. "I hate you," she muttered to her.

The authoress turned to Boq before Glinda could reply, and smiled. "Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Boq, kiss Nessa."

"I thought you guys would have forgotten," Boq mumbled, sighing. "Nessa, get over here," he muttered as he stood up.

Nessa brought herself over to him and looked up at him dreamily. "Ah, this'll be _wonderful_, won't it, Boq?"

"Sure, whatever," Boq muttered. He glared at MG6673, and then leaned in to kiss Nessa, when she squealed and clapped her hands excitedly.

"Are you done?" Boq said, annoyed.

"Sorry, sorry," Nessa said, calming down. Boq leaned forward once again, and Nessa attacked him with her face. Boq pulled away as soon as his lips met hers. "There. Done."

Nessa glared at him. "That doesn't count! We barely kissed at all!" "But, technically, you still kissed. So onto the next question." Jen looked over at MG6673, and nodded.

"Nessa: Do you still like Boq?" MG6673 inquired.

Nessa nodded, glaring at Boq as she spoke. "Of course I do, and I'll probably never stop. Not until the day I die. _Ever_. Even if he doesn't understand what the word 'kiss' means."

Boq frowned. "Nessa, I don't -"

"Okay!" Jen interrupted, walking over to stand between the two of them. "Let's stop before someone loses their heart again. Continue on with the questions." Jen shoved Boq down into his seat, and took Nessa back to her place. MG6673 smiled, and then looked over at Dorothy,

"Yay, I have a question or a dare, just for me!" Dorothy enthused, clapping her hands eagerly.

"Dorothy: I dare you to DIE!" The audience cheered excitedly, along with the people on stage - excluding Dorothy and Jen, of course, and Jen only because it was politically correct not to.

The farm girl looked offended. "I can't just make myself _die_! It's impossible!" MG6673 pondered this for a moment, then said, "Everyone: I dare you to kill Dorothy!"

"Hey! No murder!" Jen screamed, but her cries were drowned out by the audience's cheers. Jen watched in horror as everyone started ganging up on the little brat, and she desperately tried not to cheer them on. "Elphaba, _no_! Put down the chair!" Jen cried. "I could get sued if -No, Fiyero, stop beating her with your shoe! Hey! _Hey_!" Thinking fast, Jen turned towards the audience. "And we'll be right back, after this commercial break!"

Madame Morrible turned to her, momentarily turning away from the beating of Dorothy. "Since when are we on a TV Show?"

"Since right now!" Jen turned back to the audience, plastering a smile on her face. "Stay with us, everyone! We'll be right back as soon as they _stop murdering each other_!"

**This was a little over eight pages on my word processor, in Times new Roman font size ten. I hope nobody found it too long, because it took me a very short amount of time to write.**

**Thanks again for all the reviews, and the anonymous ones plus the ones I can't respond to via PM. Thanks! They mean so much and keep me able to write! :D **

**Please review. :) And don't forget, "webcam" the end! :D**


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